The Riven Dreams of a Crazed Web-Writer, #6

Hello Blog faithful! Project Skybleeder is consuming all my creative energy right now, so to keep things rolling on the blog in the meantime, here’s another dream from my archives. Enjoy!

(From January 19, 2018)

The first dream of the night transpired amidst the glowering-grey buildings of a deserted cityscape. After traveling downhill into the city from a hilltop compound marked with the Jurassic Park entry gateway (which turned out to be apropos), my sister Shannon and I had a brief discussion about how Jurassic Park was meant to show more violence at first, with a particular emphasis on how much the velociraptors would tear humans open.

This might actually be true, the book did feature disembowelments and other fun stuff that the movie didn’t!  We were shortly set upon by building-sized dinosaurs traveling at absurd speeds. I do mean absurd speeds: these things were the bipedal equivalent of jet fighters.

There seems to have been a cyborg element as well as ye olde genetic engineering; some of the dino-giants had shiny metal bits and lightning feet like Raiden from MGR. Our ability to escape was predicated entirely on the dino-giants mostly charging past us while covering a mile in about half a second; they were a fair bit too fast for their own good.

After cat-and-mouse chases through several sections of the city, we were cornered by the three dino-giants and then the rest of the group were Sailor Moon and, like, three of the Sailor Soldiers? I may have mentioned before that sudden changes of character are not a matter of concern in my dreams. The DM is a nutcase, if you hadn’t noticed.

Shannon was conspicuously absent, considering she was the only other major character so far. Maybe she was using her pixie art-goddess powers to create this entire scenario?(My sister is sort of good at art, in the same way that Isaac Newton was slightly important to the field of physics)

Sailor Moon had a brief catty exchange with some preteen girl who looked suspiciously like a younger Mars. This must be the oft-forgotten arc in which Mar’s young daughter betrays everyone with a cyber-dino army and must be brought to heel.

Spawn of Mars was particularly invested in the idea that Moon/Serena’s hips were not large enough for this fight; Moon responded by removing her uniform to reveal… a set of day clothes (oh God Serena you really are a mom) and she did some unnecessarily sexy waggling of her mom hips by way of counterargument.

ANIME.

I was on the sidelines during all this, as I had adopted the godlike battle-powers of a warrior faction from my own writing for this part of the dream and, like a true son of… er… a planet whose name I redact for spoiler reasons, I didn’t want to ruin a good showdown for my friends(?) by winning the fight instantly.

Yes, the McCurdiverse faction in question really does think in these terms. Try to take the bullets with a grin, it builds character.

I’d already forgotten my sacred clan surcoat and Diamondback (despite being from a group obsessed with swordsmanship) so I’m not sure how much more ruined things could’ve been, but such is dream logic. Instead, DreamCul considered whether or not to inform Moon that her hips were amply large enough, and perhaps in my professional opinion as a warrior, too large to be combat-optimal, thereby inhibiting transfer of power to her movements. I did not say this because fighting your allies over their hip-size is considered gauche.

Moon and two of the other Sailors had a big dumb beam clash with the dinos, then a fourth dino-giant came out of nowhere and cut up their three dino brethren with a sword instead of helping Moon win the beam-clash. Attaboy/girl randosaurous, you really… cut to the quick. O-hohohohohohoho. Mars’ wayward daughter just disappeared; I guess the animators couldn’t be assed to draw her fleeing the battle.

Say something, darn it!

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